Greatest rock song ever?

Everyone seems to be implanting YouTube videos on their blogs - so why should we be any different? Craig reckons GNR own this mantle, but I (possibly because I'm Christian - but hey, while we're doing what everyone else is doing...) love U2. This is my favourite song, and what I'm hanging to see come November...

Miss Universe in your world

Hats off to Trinity Grammar student Jordan Avramides, who has managed to get Erin McNaught (Miss Universe contestant from Australia 2006) as his year 10 formal date (read here). The amazing thing is that she was his second choice, being extended an invite only after Jennifer Hawkins turned him down!

Now I know a few of our readers are ex-trinity grammar boys, and they are fine, upstanding and gentlemanly types, but even they couldn't have pulled this off. Perhaps young Jordan had some help? After all it seems rather suspicious that only the Telegraph are running the story.

The funniest part of the story is that Jordan already had a date before Miss Mcnaught accepted his invitation and the poor young guy had to take his mother round to effectively dump his old date!

Surely the presence of a supermodel will raise the stakes for the other girls at the formal. As if getting dolled up for the first time wasn't already stressful enough, now they'll have to compete with Versace as opposed to Harts...

My questions however - should he have 'dumped' his old date for a celebrity? Would you have done the same? What should the girl have said to him, when he and his mum arrived?

Rodeo has saved 'on-the-poddy'

And he's done it singlehandedly it seems - listen here. Incidentally, they rate Craig's blog as number 3 in oz - wonder where that puts the fountainside? 1, or 2?

technophobe

My fiancé Sam is a clever guy. He is an absolute master when it comes to dealing with modern day technology. On the other hand, I am a self confessed technophobe.

While he knows how to use the latest programs and zips through computer work with nifty little shortcuts, I struggle with Excel, use the lappy like it’s a PC and would rather go up and turn the DVD player on rather than figure out how to use the complicated master remote control at his parent’s house. And I only use my mobile phone to make calls. That’s it. Anything else is just too much work.

We’ve coexisted nicely in the past, with him being technologically astute enough to run everything and me, well, making good conversation. I’m happy to let him delve into whatever gadget or program is making our lives easier while I potter along contently, doing things the way I’ve always done them (he recently pointed out to me that you don’t need to type the plus sign anymore when doing a google search!). I suspect this unwillingness of mine to leap into the 21st century irks him a little, because at certain points in our relationship, he will drag me like some avid evangelist, kicking and screaming, to try something new.

So last night, I got my first initiation into the world of Pandora, Skype and iChat. After convincing me to create an account (I hate creating accounts on the internet. It puts me off and I usually don’t bother when asked to fill out an online form), we chatted, sent messages and fiddled with Pandora for an hour or two…and admittedly…it was kind of fun. Much better than talking on the phone, in fact.

I still think that technology can never substitute hearing Sam laugh in person or getting a cuddle when I’m feeling blue, but I can see how the Internet has made things a whole lot more convenient and interesting.

And I probably should thank Sam, as without him I probably wouldn’t know how to drive my manual car, check the oil and water gauges, bank online, create multiple savings accounts, send email attachments with a simple ‘click and drag’ and use the shortcut keys on my mobile phone. Even a habitual technophobe like me can get with the times!

Craig on Richard Beeston

Craig discovers Richard Beeston, and likes what he's found (click here). I think Richard might be visiting some of our WA readers soon?

My Pandora Player

If you haven't got a Pandora account up and running - hop to it. This is without doubt one of the best things i've seen on the net. I haven't put a CD on (except in the car) since I've had it on my computer. Currently I'm listening to 'Daft Punk' radio.

What stations have you made? What's your favourite one?

Lloyd-Jones on context and Scripture

More gold from Mr Lloyd-Jones in my quiet time this morning.

"Nothing, incidentally is more dangerous in reading or interpreting scripture than to take a single statement right out of its context and elaborate a theory or doctrine upon it. That has generally been what has happened in every heresy and in every error in the long history of the Church. It is this fatal habit of men and women of jumping on to texts, as it were, and saying, 'The Bible says this - therefore...' And they forget the context; they forget that Scripture must always be compared with Scripture; that scripture never contradicts itself, and that there is a homogenous collation and unity about the message of the bible from beginning to end."

Goodbye Pluto

Well, it’s official. Pluto is no longer classified as a planet, which leaves…eight? Or seven? I had the hardest time remembering all the planets in the car on the work: Mercury, Venus, Mars, Earth, Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus…I think I’m missing one.

Thinking of the solar system makes me realise how miraculous our existence is. Had the earth been a few degrees to the left or right, we would not have had the right temperature, balance of gases, light exposure, etc. for life to proliferate.

Question: why are all the planets given fancy Greco-Roman names and ours is just called earth? I looked it up; earth is just an old english and germanic word for ground.

bible reading - 1 John 5

I came across a quote this morning from Martyn Lloyd Jones that I wanted to share.

"Christian people are not merely a collection of individuals who may hold certain views in common and come together for certain purposes. Not at all! According to the New testament we are to realise we are brothers and sisters; we belong to the same Father; we are partakers of the same divine nature; we have this initmate relationship of blood, as it were, than which nothing can be deeper or stronger. So we must look at one another as brothers and sisters; this is a family relationship. And that, of course, leads in turn to this: we must be concerned about one another; we should be exercising a watchful care and interest in one another; we should have a real concern about one another."

An Accomplished Modern Woman

"It is amazing to me,'' said Bingley, "how young ladies can have patience to be so very accomplished as they all are."
"All young ladies accomplished! My dear Charles, what do you mean?''
"Yes all of them, I think. They all paint tables, cover skreens, and net purses. I scarcely know any one who cannot do all this, and I am sure I never heard a young lady spoken of for the first time, without being informed that she was very accomplished.''

Pride and Prejudice

In Jane Austen’s day, an accomplished woman had a thorough knowledge of “music, singing, drawing, dancing, modern languages and besides all this, possessed a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions”.

In a similar vein, Maggie Alderson wrote an alternate list of what the “accomplished modern woman” can do in the Good Weekend. I liked her list so much that I thought I’d write my own (asterisks next to the qualities I have yet to conquer!).

In my opinion, an Accomplished Modern Woman can:

Drive a manual car
Cook simple meals that have the appearance of gourmet feasts (I include packet mix in this)
Diligently reply to emails, phonecalls and SMS.
Say no without feeling guilty*
Make shy people feel at ease
Eat spaghetti without dripping sauce on her clothes*
Surf the net and pay bills online
Sustain a conversation about some sort of Australian sport with a guy (or at least give the appearance of doing so)
Tell good jokes*
Find expensive looking clothes at Target
Drink beer
Iron a shirt* (the creases always go funny)
Iron men’s pants* (same as above)
Keep children entertained at a birthday party
Have the confidence to invite people into a messy house
Do her tax return
Ask for a raise at work or more importantly, time off for mission and honeymoon* (still working on this one)
Recycle
Sponsor a child from a 3rd world country*
Assemble a superhero outfit for her child out of old bed sheets and paint.
Clean the bathroom on a regular basis*
Ask the question that everyone may think is silly
Not finish her husband's sentences*
Learn how to give a public talk
Dance with her partner
Dance on her own
Dance on her own with no inhibitions
Use coupons and entertainment books to save on grocery bills, DVDs and dining out
Read at least one Dickens novel*
Watch a wide variety of movies, not just chick flicks
Remember birthdays and give flowers*
Immaculately wrap a present
Have a tin of quality slices to offer unexpected guests
Walk confidently in heels
Read the paper and know and have an opinion on at least one issue
Sew*
Send an email while doing the washing
Sell charity chocolate for her kids (I am convinced that children never sell their own fundraising chocolate, as most of gets sold in my office)
Ask her husband/partner "how was your day?" and listen carefully to the response
Remove a spider*******
Reuke someone in love
Take a rebuke with grace (and no tears)*
Give someone a warm hug at the end of each day
Marry for love

Any more to add?

Treasures in heaven

Last night, I heard a great sermon on Luke chapter 12 at church.

I have read the “Do Not Worry” part from Matthew 5 hundreds of times, always as an encouragement to trust God to provide for all our material needs. It has brought me great comfort at various times in my life, especially last year when I struggled to find a job.

Sunday night was the first time I’d heard it preached in a wider context of not placing our hope in material gain, giving me a whole new perspective on this section of the Bible.

Dominic pointed out that the parable of the rich fool comes before this passage, where Jesus condemns the rich who store up treasures for themselves, yet are not “rich towards God”. Placed alongside the command not to worry in Luke, a picture is given of where our priorities should be as Christians. In short, we are not to place our hope in money, material possessions or the things of this world, but make every effort to store our riches in heaven, towards God*.

This is such a challenge to me, as often I find it easier to buy a new dress, get a takeaway lunch at work or save towards my wedding than to invest what I have in the heavenly Kingdom. In the future, I’m going to try and be more generous with my money and make giving my first, not last, priority. I’m also going to stop worrying about whether Sam and I will be okay during the potential financial drought of college years, but instead trust God and be joyfully content with less.

*There are so many things we can place our hope in other than Christ without even knowing it: relationships, marriage, a social life, gaining acceptance, career, education, our children, etc.

Under New Management

Next to my office is a small café run by an Italian barrista called Frank.

People often complain that it’s the slowest café on our block because it’s always crowded and the service often lags. However, I love it because Frank knows my name, makes good coffee and knows how I like it without saying a word.

Every morning at ten when I do the coffee run, I stand next to the coffee machine and chat to Frank (who looks like a skinnier version of George Clooney) while he froths the milk. The cheery waitresses wear whatever they like and the atmosphere is always buzzing, with people laughing and the waft of fresh coffee mingled with hot bacon and eggs. I don’t mind waiting ten minutes for my coffee. It’s a welcomed break away from the monotony of my computer screen upstairs.

That is until yesterday morning, when I strolled into the café to find a cheaply printed white sign on A4 paper stuck on the coffee machine: Under New Management.

The new barrista(s) have no name, wear black and are professional. Three people man the counter; one froths the milk one runs the shots and the other takes orders. None of them look like George Clooney and none of them look at me while they make my coffee. My order is written on the takeaway lid with a biro and queued up next to an anonymous stack of other orders - just another Starbucks/Gloria Jeans-esque coffee in the production line.

Sure, I get my order in four minutes instead of ten, and sure, the milk doesn’t burn my mouth anymore like it did on some of Frank’s “off” days, but where’s the love? Where’s the banter? Where’s the friendly smile?

Frank I miss you, and I hope wherever you are, you’re happy and well!

seminar on feminism

In October this year, I’ll be taking a seminar on feminism at my old church’s houseparty. I’m really excited about this opportunity.

I wrote my seminar a year ago and since then, I have given it twice – once at a houseparty at my church for our evening service, and again at a ministry training event. I’ve been meaning to rework it since then but I haven’t been able to find the time. Now I have something to work towards, it will definitely get done!

The seminar is divided into two parts, with the first being an informative overview of feminism and it’s three movements, and the second focusing on the 3rd wave and how it holds up against God’s principles. With the Bible as our compass, we cover a range of issues, including the purpose of marriage, beauty and self image, sexuality and raunch culture, raising children and women at work. The only thing I don’t touch on is women’s roles in the church, as I’m not yet equipped theologically or in maturity to lead in that area.

Most of all, we have a fantastic time holding this culture up to the piercing mirror of God’s word. There is nothing I love more than helping people understand something new about the Bible and how it relates to culture. Even more than that, I love encouraging girls to glorify God and live for Christ in every aspect of their lives. I love that moment of revelation when they realise something new about their adoption into the Kingdom. This seminar is one of the most enjoyable things I’ve done in the past few years and I’m thankful to God for the opportunity:)

maternal instincts revisited

I have been doing some more reflecting after reading Kirwan-Taylor's article and people’s reactions to her unashamed claim to be “bored out her brains by her kids”. It’s interesting to see the reactions that people have, not just to Taylor’s rampant selfishness, but more generally towards the issue of motherhood and generation Y women.

Kirwan-Taylor’s problem is not that she has no natural affinity to childrearing, or even that she finds children boring. Her problem is that she is unwilling to set aside her desires for the sake of others. I would like to think that I would take my children to the playground when I’d rather be working on an article, not because I find it fun, but because I love my children and want them to have the very best (hopefully that is where the majority of the joy resides, for both those who enjoy playing with kids and those who don't).

This doesn’t mean it will be easy, or that it will come “naturally” to me. I think that the reason generations of women before us have embraced motherhood is because they lived in tribes filled with older women who offered them advice and support. Woman today miss out on that. In today’s user-pay and individualistic society, a woman (particularly if she’s single) is often left to fend on her own. Sure, there’s expensive childcare and a mountain books to read, but there is also an increasing lack of relational, familial support beyond her husband. If people are going to advocate that women should stay at home and look after the kids, then they also have to look upon her situation with understanding and compassion. A big question to ask is: where is the community support to help her do that?

In Chinese culture, it is common for families to live as a unit, with grandparents, mum, dad and children under the one roof. Both grandma and mum are responsible for rearing the child, as was the case with my mum as she grew up in Indonesia. Ideally, everyone pulls together, everyone gets looked after and everyone works for the good of the family as a whole rather their own individual needs (I say ideally because these days, grandma is often used as a free babysitter while the woman works all day). My knowledge of other cultures is pretty limited, but I think this happens in Mediterranean families as well.

As Christians, we can offer this support too. I wonder, how much of our “maternal” instincts are natural, and how much of it was learnt from the older women in our lives? Advocating a certain position when it comes to motherhood is one thing; offering support, the relational, loving kind that also understands that every woman is different and treats them as such, is another. It’s an important task and one that deserves the full attention and support of the church.

Catholic priests

I was chatting to my editor this morning about Sam's "job" and what it would be like to marry an Anglican minister. He told me that years ago in Ireland, it was common practice for the first born son of every family to be trained in the Catholic church as a priest.

Does anyone know if that’s true?

Apart from the fact that the whole thing smacks of institution and duty, not to mention the small “your son may not want to be a priest” factor, I think the idea is quaint and beautiful. It’s like offering your first fruits to the Lord, in manner of Hannah and Samuel.

I would like to learn more about Catholicism and its rich history. I'll put it on the list...

Snow in Annandale!

Well summer's on the back-burner, and it's been hailing/snowing for the last 20 mins! I feel like I'm in europe. I got some photos on my phone - check them out!

Summer is just around the corner...

Today I wore thongs and shorts all day, in an attempt to convince myself that summer is on its way. Winter is good when you're rugged up in bed, or if you can afford to go skiing, but I'm pretty ready for summer to arrive. I'm really looking forward to some summer days at our holiday place at Macmasters Beach. I took this picture last summer while I was staying up there.
My favourite part of summer is walking at night while it's warm and breezy. What's yours?

Bored or just selfish?

I was going to write a response to Helen Kirwan-Taylor's selfish and vapid article, Sorry but my children bore me to death, but after reading through the comments left by other readers, I felt they voiced my sentiments better than I ever could.

The comment I agreed with:

"I think my greatest weakness is my selfishness; I would rather watch CSI than read a book to my daughter; I would rather read my novel than watch my children during their swimming lesson. But I choose to work on my weaknesses and push myself to do the better thing, rather than see my selfishness as something to celebrate and joke about."

"Privately finding your children "boring" is one thing; writing perky articles about it as if it were something to be laughed off or even to be proud of is another. I think my verdict is that it's neither big nor clever. Mothering demands a huge amount of self-sacrifice and those who can't rise to it (I speak as a woman who has chosen not to have children) are better off sticking to their writing."

And check out this article from the Australian in response (thanks Craig).

Many may see this as a result of feminism, but I think it is deeper than that, namely deeply ensconced and unabashed selfishness. I don't understand how she can claim to be an accomplished journalist when she clearly demonstrates no compassion, understanding, insight or concern for other human beings (for if you can't even be bothered to care about your own flesh, who else can you care about?).

More dancing from OK, GO

No treadmills this time, but oh so cool. Click here.

a helping hand

You are not her Holy Spirit.

On the weekend I had a helpful chat with a friend about helping other people with their problems, particularly when they refuse to repent or change. Out of the conversation came a line that really struck me (though it came from neither of us, but a girl in my bible study group): you are not her Holy Spirit.

As Christians, we’re supposed to support each other as we stumble in our walk with God. How do we do that with people who aren’t stumbling but actively running away from their faith? And what do you do when it gets personal? How do we help them without emotionally destroying ourselves in the process?

It’s so difficult to let go of someone who used to follow Christ, especially when you care about them. However, I am learning to trust that the God is always in control and He cares for those that are lost. It’s not my job to convict people in their hearts to turn to Christ. Although I can proclaim the truth and care for them, I can’t do the hard work for them.

My favourite poem

Woman to Man by Judith Wright

The eyeless labourer in the night
the selfless, shapeless seed I hold,
builds for its resurrection day-
silent and swift and deep from sight
foresees the unimagined light.

This is no child with a child's face;
this has no name to name it by;
yet you and I have known it well.
this is the hunter and our chase,
the third who lay in our embrace.

This is the strength that your arm knows,
the arc of flesh that is my breast,
the precise crystals of our eyes.
This is the blood's wild tree that grows
the intricate and folded rose.

This is the maker and the made;
this is the question and reply;
the blind head butting at the dark,
the blaze of light along the blade.
Oh hold me, for I am afraid.

The golden mean

Daedalus was a famous artist who lived in Crete under the iron fisted rule of King Minos.

One day, he decided to hatch a plan to escape. Like most artists, his solution was not the most practical or straightforward: he built two pairs of feathered wings so that he and his son could fly to freedom.

On the day of the escape, two figures stood with their feathered appendages and looked out at the endless blue of the Agean sea.
“Fly the middle course,” Daedalus warned his son.
“Too close to the water and the sea spray will destroy the wings, too high above the clouds and the wax that holds them together will melt. Stay in the middle!”

Icarus nodded and took off, exhilarated by the feeling of soaring between water and sky. He spread his arms and flew upwards to dizzying heights, ignoring the advice of his father. Daedalus called out after his son in a panic, but it was too late. The sun’s rays melted the wax between Icarus’ feathers and before his father’s eyes, he plummeted to his death.

Daedalus’ warning to “fly the middle course” has become a commonly upheld moral for western civilisation. In his quest to define moral behaviour, the philosopher Aristotle claimed that a person of good character should seek an action that would logically lie somewhere between two extremes. Between cowardice and rashness lay the ideal - courage. Between surliness and flattery, friendliness. He called this concept the Golden Mean and held that it would mean different things for each individual, dependent on their circumstances.

Aristotle’s theory is not an ancient philosophy confined to the history pages, but very much alive today. In my first year as a media student at Sydney University, I was taught the Golden Mean as a possible way of ensuring ethical behaviour as a journalist. Imagine a scenario where a political leader is in the midst of a scandal that impinges on his family life. What is the journalist’s responsibility in this case? Is it to uphold the public’s right to knowledge, or protect the privacy of the wife and children who are adversely affected by the scandal? A journalist seeking the Golden Mean would aim to fall somewhere between both extremes.

Aside from media ethics, people use this theory to make a variety of decisions, from determining whether civilian deaths in war outweigh a just cause, to whether sparing your best friend’s feelings is more important than telling her the truth about her new haircut.

But what happens if two people are placed in the same situation, yet see their circumstances differently? The problem with the Golden Mean is its very premise. Claiming that it’s up to the individual to determine what is right upholds each person as the centre of morality. As a result, ethical behaviour becomes relative to what each individual thinks and how they perceive their circumstance. Clearly, this is extremely confusing.

The Bible tells us that morality is not found in maintaining a balance between two extremes, but in God. He is the ultimate judge of right from wrong. Therefore, it stands to reason that the only way to be completely moral is to obey Him perfectly.

Human beings have failed miserably at this. The only person to perfectly obey God is Jesus, who is the complete embodiment of what is good, righteous and pure in God’s eyes. A moral person isn’t one who "flies the middle path", but one who adopts the very nature and standing of Jesus before God; who cries out in repentance to the Father and is cleansed in the blood of the Lamb. Only through Christ can we find our bearings in God and obey Him.

This may sound like an obvious lesson, but it’s something that I’m constantly re-learning as I grow in my relationship with God.

Recently, I realised that I’ve been using the Golden Mean to work out my stance in issues surrounding the church. Not wanting to be ‘narrow minded’ and ultra conservative or ‘dangerously’ liberal, I’ve often made it my goal to be ‘balanced’ in matters related to faith. Although I may have succeeded in safeguarding myself against the dangers of both extremes, I have unintentionally made the shifting sands of human thinking, not an external God, the marker of what I believe to be a right course of thought or action.

While I still think that pursuing obedience to God means thinking through different viewpoints, I’ve come to realise that it’s more important to align myself with God’s point of view rather than try to straddle a healthy divide between two extremes.

Sometimes this may make me decidedly conservative. At other times, I may astonish myself with a point of view considered that is considered 'liberal'. Whatever the issue, such labels are irrelevant. What matters most is that I take bearings from God and keep my eyes on Jesus as the author and perfector of my faith; that I continually ask the Spirit to teach me from the Word and enable me to discern all things.

Espresso

Lately i've felt like my skills have been waning. Gone are the cafe days of making 500+ cups per day, these days I make 1 or 2, at best 3 or 4 - if I've got a few people coming over to read the Bible. Sadly not many of them are into coffee!
Up until this year, I used to meet with a friend to read the bible and pray every week. We would make gourmet sandwiches, drink 'Australian fresh' juice (the best was apple and mango), and try and outdo each other with our latte art. It was a lot of fun. We used to take photos of our coffees with our phones, so I thought I'd put the best one I ever got a photo of up here.

6 hour working day

I was listening to Adam Spencer on 702 on the way to work this morning. He had a really interesting interview with Caroline West, lecturer of philosophy at Sydney University, about workloads.

Apparently, research shows that when you weigh the positives of work (income, social networks, productivity) to the negatives (high stress levels, limited time with family) the healthiest number of hours a person should be working is 6 – 2 hours less that the average Australian work day.

God has already blessed me with a job that allows me to step into the office at 8 and leave at 4 or 4:30 at the latest (I have friends at the bottom of the food chain who put in 10-12 hours on a daily basis), but I still think that a 6 hour work day would be a wonderful thing. Imagine leaving work at 2! The things I could do with my afternoon…my mind swoons at the thought.

West also commented that modern Australians have made mortgages and domestic products like flat screen TVs too much of a priority. Work was meant to challenge us and keep us self sufficient, not enslave us. If it impinges on our quality of life, then perhaps something is wrong with the number of hours we’re working.

Treadmill dancing

Strange but true. Click here

New Strongbad

It's like a rainstorm... in your browser. Click here.

How to get a job...

I'm getting very excited about this night! Send me an email to RSVP.

axed

Yasmin was dumped.

It was a dumb idea anyway.

maternal instincts lacking

On Saturday night, Sam and I were the first official babysitters for his sister's four month old baby. The experience left me both excited and terrified at the prospect of having kids.

Toby is an absolutely precious baby. He's old enough to open his eyes, smile and eagerly respond to people - all of which was adorable.

However, I now know that the so called "natural female maternal instinct" is a myth because I don't have it! Sam was so much better at bathing, changing and generally comforting the baby than I was. I don't know; it just looked so natural when he handled the baby. Although after many attempts I could finally get his singlet on his little body while supporting his head, it didn't come naturally to me at all. It felt awkward, precarious, frightening. Babies are so precious and little. I kept thinking, "God, don't let me ruin him!"

Plus, I don't know what to say to babies. People often revert to some sort of elemental cooing, in manner of "you're so cuuuute! Yess you are!! Yess you are!!!" I just can't do that. It feels weird. I like teenagers because you can talk to them and understand them. But babies? I just don't understand them. The only thing I really understood from Saturday night is how dependent they are on adults to merely survive. At one point, Toby looked so vulnerable and soft while he was falling asleep in my arms. It struck me how completely selfless you have to be when looking after a baby.

I do want kids in the near future, and not just one, maybe three or four. And I want to provide them with a good home, loving parents and a foundation to grow as a Christian.
I just hope I can be a good mother when the time comes!

Bible Study

In our bible study tonight, we looked at Ephesians 3:14-21. It's an amazing insight into the prayer life of the apostle Paul. The final sentence struck me most:

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Paul prayed not only that Jesus would be glorified, but that Jesus would be glorified in the church, and in the church throughout all generations. Paul's theology in 3:10 (see a few posts back) is reflected in his prayer in 3:21.
How I want my prayers to be in line with the purposes of God like that.

He went back.

I want to be like Paul.

"Then some Jews came from Antioch and Iconium and won the crowd over. They stoned Paul and dragged him outside the city, thinking he was dead. But after the disciples had gathered around him, he got up and went back into the city. The next day, he and Barnabas left for Derbe."

Acts 14:19-20

Sometimes I wonder: do I give up too easily?

And do I give up because I think it’s the wisest thing to do, or because my life is worth too much to me?

fashion sense

Sam’s niece Eleanor is two and she only ever wears the colour pink.

Everyday she chooses her own clothes and she has the wildest fashion sense: pink dresses over a Tshirt, a fairy costume complete with wings, her pink swimming costume over tights and a long sleeved top, matching pink bags and clips. She likes her hair messy (a big fan of shabby chic, obviously), climbs all over play equipment in a dress and likes to change her clothes at least two times a day.

I think that’s fabulous. I love fashion and sometimes wish I had the guts to wear exactly what I want like Eleanor does.

If clothes cost next to nothing, there was no such thing as winter and social decorum or workplace dress codes didn’t exist, I would wear pastel skirts made of tulle and silk (the kind that spins out in a circle when you twirl) with waistcoats fitted with tiny gold buttons. I would mix and match glamorous flapper dresses from the 1920s and 30s with hooded cardigans and stripey scarves. I would wear vintage skirts with high heels and match blue with red, purple with gold, black with everything. I would go to work in that dress that Audrey wore in Breakfast at Tiffany’s – minus the tiara and gloves.

I would never, ever wear pants, not even jeans, not even in 5 degree weather. (I would obviously own some sort of special insulating cream that kept my body temperature warm). The only exception would be one the weekends, when I would team my pajamas bottoms with a pretty top and a nice pair of slippers for when I go out for coffee with friends.

I wish I had the guts to be two again.

My new journal

Have you ever bought someone a present, but liked it so much that you kept the present for yourself?

I did today. In my lunch break, I bought some lovely things for a friend’s upcoming birthday, including a beautiful red journal from a Swedish stationery store. However, I liked the journal so much that I decided to unwrap it and keep it for myself.

I have kept a journal since I was twelve, so today I have a whole drawer of notebooks filled with prayers, reflections, devotions and letters. These books are a record of my inner life. Unlike snapshots of holidays and family get-togethers, they record feelings and experiences that I can’t capture with a camera. They help me remember being at school and having a tight knit group of friends. They know about when my dad moved to Cambridge and I missed him terribly. They have stories about trips up the coast, fights with my brothers, writing for a left-wing paper at university and leading my first bible study group at church. They know exactly how, when and where I fell in love with Sam.

But more than that, these journals are a record of my growing relationship with God.

I often enjoy reading through past entries and seeing how much I’ve matured as a Christian. There are so many entries that I read now and think, “I cannot believe I actually wrote that!” Although I haven’t got life all figured out yet, I’m glad to see how God has worked through me, despite how foolish, weak and filled with doubt I’ve often been in the past.

At the moment I have three journals: one for prayer points, one for reflections and another for prayers, quotes and bible verses. I try to write in at least one everyday, even if it’s just a sentence or two.

For those who have never tried it, I really recommend writing down your prayers and thoughts as a way of spending time with God. It has helped me in so many ways: to reflect on my actions, to think about my prayers as opposed to falling asleep after “dear Lord”, to meditate on the word of God instead of skim reading the Bible, to remember the ways in which God has blessed me and be thankful for them everyday.

While I was in the stationery store waiting for the present to be wrapped (which turned out to be a waste of time!), the store assistant was chatting amicably to me about how she used the journals that she owned.
“I have a book that’s called Things I Love,” she said. “All I write in it are things I love, whether it’s a sunny day on the beach or a new dress. I start every sentence with “I love”. It cheers me up when I’m feeling down”.

Wouldn’t it be a good idea to have a book called Thank You God and write down all the things that you thank God for in your day? Whenever you’re tempted to despair, you could read the book and take comfort His love and goodness.

I think I might do that with my new journal.